Back when G was diagnosed with Autism, I remember a lot of things went through my head as tears welled up in my eyes.
Things that I tried to rationalize - never really believing that it was just echolalia and not really expressive language. There was something in him that, down to my core, i knew he could understand me and just couldn’t tell us so.
Things that I tried to rationalize - never really believing that it was just echolalia and not really expressive language. There was something in him that, down to my core, i knew he could understand me and just couldn’t tell us so.
It’s been two years since he was diagnosed and so much has happened.
My now ex-husband (divorce papers are signed - the court date is exactly one month away) and I were really not operating as a team around that time - and actually the diagnosis forced us to communicate a little bit more than we were.
So, just 10 months prior to G’s diagnosis, his dad had filed for divorce from me. I kind of knew I was in a not so great marriage, but when G came along - my love for him overpowered any thing else I was feeling. Aug 25, 2011 was the day I was served. June 15, 2012 was the day G was diagnosed. Talk about life changes. I’m exhausted just thinking about it.
My ex (G’s dad) had been expressing to me pretty early on, even before we moved to Atlanta from Cleveland, that he thought G might have autism. He was hyper focused on the alphabet, but he couldn’t even ask for juice. I mentioned it to his pediatrician in Georgia, but he just shrugged it off. G was the master of echolalia. I had told him to wash his hands before the doctor came in. So, when the doctor came in, he chirped, “wash your hands!” The bow-tie clad, elderly gentleman laughed and did wash his hands. He thought G had been engaging him. I knew he was echoing me.
So, I was working in the best paying, and nerdiest job since I have been working as a nurse. In Atlanta. Our hospital was the one sponsored by the Braves and the Falcons. Ultra hip area, and I was really excited about work, but not so much about my commute. We moved to the BURBS (more like the mountains…) but anyway, G was in a really nice daycare which was paid for by me, every month. The teachers loved him. Some of them realized he was a bit different and when I came in and told Ms Allison about his diagnosis, she took me under her wing and told me some things that made me feel a bit better about our situation.
In hindsight, I realize that everything that happened down there, though very expensive and out of my pockets, all of the effort was worth it. I mean it. It took us a few months to get him enrolled in the public school half day program for autistic children, but when he did get it, it was awesome. Ms Lori and Ms Cortney were awesome. G knew all of the names of the kids in his class, and he adored them. He still was not speaking a whole lot, but he was speaking more than he had been. You know - i’ll take it, right!!!??
My ex heard that his parents condo in Ohio (cincy area) was empty and apparently they had offered for us to live there for a bit for free to get on our feet. I had to leave my job - the best paying job I had ever had - and take a 10K paycut. All of G’s expenses still fell on me. This was brutal. I am not quite recovered from this yet, but I will be soon. BUT OMG autism is expensive. He’s the thing, though. My new job is super nerdy and cool, even if it doesn’t pay as much, and it’s flexible, and my insurance is awesome. G had 18k in medical costs and I only had to pay (the many many) co-pays.
So, just 10 months prior to G’s diagnosis, his dad had filed for divorce from me. I kind of knew I was in a not so great marriage, but when G came along - my love for him overpowered any thing else I was feeling. Aug 25, 2011 was the day I was served. June 15, 2012 was the day G was diagnosed. Talk about life changes. I’m exhausted just thinking about it.
My ex (G’s dad) had been expressing to me pretty early on, even before we moved to Atlanta from Cleveland, that he thought G might have autism. He was hyper focused on the alphabet, but he couldn’t even ask for juice. I mentioned it to his pediatrician in Georgia, but he just shrugged it off. G was the master of echolalia. I had told him to wash his hands before the doctor came in. So, when the doctor came in, he chirped, “wash your hands!” The bow-tie clad, elderly gentleman laughed and did wash his hands. He thought G had been engaging him. I knew he was echoing me.
So, I was working in the best paying, and nerdiest job since I have been working as a nurse. In Atlanta. Our hospital was the one sponsored by the Braves and the Falcons. Ultra hip area, and I was really excited about work, but not so much about my commute. We moved to the BURBS (more like the mountains…) but anyway, G was in a really nice daycare which was paid for by me, every month. The teachers loved him. Some of them realized he was a bit different and when I came in and told Ms Allison about his diagnosis, she took me under her wing and told me some things that made me feel a bit better about our situation.
In hindsight, I realize that everything that happened down there, though very expensive and out of my pockets, all of the effort was worth it. I mean it. It took us a few months to get him enrolled in the public school half day program for autistic children, but when he did get it, it was awesome. Ms Lori and Ms Cortney were awesome. G knew all of the names of the kids in his class, and he adored them. He still was not speaking a whole lot, but he was speaking more than he had been. You know - i’ll take it, right!!!??
My ex heard that his parents condo in Ohio (cincy area) was empty and apparently they had offered for us to live there for a bit for free to get on our feet. I had to leave my job - the best paying job I had ever had - and take a 10K paycut. All of G’s expenses still fell on me. This was brutal. I am not quite recovered from this yet, but I will be soon. BUT OMG autism is expensive. He’s the thing, though. My new job is super nerdy and cool, even if it doesn’t pay as much, and it’s flexible, and my insurance is awesome. G had 18k in medical costs and I only had to pay (the many many) co-pays.
Moving to Cincy has been a surreal experience. It’s been pretty good as far as autism care goes. I feel like an alien on a new planet that just doesn’t ever become familiar. P and I had talked about moving to Chicago many times in the past, and so much that I had a phone interview with two hospitals out there. We have a tribe of friends ready and waiting to take us in there. P had decided not to pursue the job he could have taken out there. I think about the what-ifs, and I wonder, would we have diagnosed the autism in the same way? Was this the right path to take? Is Cincy the place I need to be? I don’t know. I know my hometown of Wash DC is out of the budget for me. Home - I have been priced out from you...I want to be close to my cousins and I miss them so much. I have a little brother and sister near philly, too. Oh east coast!!!
G has more friends here than I do. Impressed? Yes! Even though I am lonely as hell here, I see how well my son is doing. I can deal with lonely. Because my son tells me he loves me. He can TALK ! and he can tell me HE LOVES ME. he says MOM I LOVE YOU.
G has more friends here than I do. Impressed? Yes! Even though I am lonely as hell here, I see how well my son is doing. I can deal with lonely. Because my son tells me he loves me. He can TALK ! and he can tell me HE LOVES ME. he says MOM I LOVE YOU.
After a year and a half of speech, OT, and PT, my son is more confident and vocal than ever. He uses receptive and expressive language daily. He still struggles to try to converse, but he can tell you why he won’t let me wash the temporary tattoos off of his face “because they make me beautiful.”
Whatever crazy crap I have been through, well, it is all worth it I suppose. The mountain of debt and rivers of tears I have endured!!!
I am exhausted. I am so tired that I have this night to myself - first one in ages - and I want to go home and nap. I think I will.
Right now, all I know is that things are about to change again - G has to leave his awesome preschool because the teacher-student ratio is too much for him. He did OK in the public school last year but it’s part time. We hope we are doing the right thing by using the OHIO autism scholarship this summer.
I don’t know which is the best place to be when you are raising a child with autism. But Ohio seems to be pretty good, actually. Only thing is, I’m so far from everything I know...even Cleveland is several hours away. At least I could drive to Chicago or Philly or DC or Baltimore in a day from Cleveland.
I, by the grace of all things good, have a job. I live down the road from my ex, but he’s hinting he doesn’t want me to live so close. Hah! But seriously - shared parenting is much easier when you are in the same 5 mile radius.
This area is expensive. I can’t find anything that I can afford that meets the criteria of the courts and the ex and my needs. You can’t please them all. I must find a happy medium.
Right now, I am going to just try to breathe, wait for my lease to end, find something reasonable, and take tiny bits of ME time whenever I can get them.
Whatever crazy crap I have been through, well, it is all worth it I suppose. The mountain of debt and rivers of tears I have endured!!!
I am exhausted. I am so tired that I have this night to myself - first one in ages - and I want to go home and nap. I think I will.
Right now, all I know is that things are about to change again - G has to leave his awesome preschool because the teacher-student ratio is too much for him. He did OK in the public school last year but it’s part time. We hope we are doing the right thing by using the OHIO autism scholarship this summer.
I don’t know which is the best place to be when you are raising a child with autism. But Ohio seems to be pretty good, actually. Only thing is, I’m so far from everything I know...even Cleveland is several hours away. At least I could drive to Chicago or Philly or DC or Baltimore in a day from Cleveland.
I, by the grace of all things good, have a job. I live down the road from my ex, but he’s hinting he doesn’t want me to live so close. Hah! But seriously - shared parenting is much easier when you are in the same 5 mile radius.
This area is expensive. I can’t find anything that I can afford that meets the criteria of the courts and the ex and my needs. You can’t please them all. I must find a happy medium.
Right now, I am going to just try to breathe, wait for my lease to end, find something reasonable, and take tiny bits of ME time whenever I can get them.
Little G is turning 5. Tomorrow I write & mail the party invites.
My little guy has been able to engage his friends enough that they know he is turning 5.
so good.
so good.
He tells me he loves me. This was the stuff I thought was off of the table. I tell you - the things are not off of the table - it’s just different things on a different table.
More soon - I promise.
More soon - I promise.
