more research please!!!

"CONCLUSIONS: Associations regarding family history of type 1 diabetes and infantile autism and maternal history of rheumatoid arthritis and ASDs were confirmed from previous studies. A significant association between maternal history of celiac disease and ASDs was observed for the first time. The observed associations between familial autoimmunity and ASDs/infantile autism are probably attributable to a combination of a common genetic background and a possible prenatal antibody exposure or alteration in fetal environment during pregnancy."
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http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/124/2/687.short
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I wish I had known that I had an elevated ANA - but who tests expecting mothers for that?  MORE RESEARCH!!!!! need more research! autoimmune disorders in parents of autistic children. biomarkers for inflammation.

Also - we've discovered that G has NOT outgrown his Casein intolerance and his poor little distended belly is hurting him so much. My heart breaks because I have not been as strict about his diet as I should be. 

Also you should watch "sounding the alarm" from Autism Speaks because if you know me and you want to understand what this is like, at all, this hour long documentary is a great starting point.

It was a nice sort-of counter documentary to Pink Ribbons, because corporations don't have a lot to gain by giving money to autism research, but as you have seen, breast cancer is very profitable for corporations.

However, my heart is lightened when my amazing friends send me links about corporations seeking to employ autistic adults because they are very task oriented. Software companies in particular. This brings me a lot of hope because my son responds best to lists. You have to list EVERYTHING or put it in a schedule form for him to understand it. Also, if you deviate, it can really throw him off. He's pretty good at long car rides and travel for the most part, so that is good, but I really can't wait until he has regular school hours and doesn't have to have such long, fragmented days.

if you only knew what my days are like now.

I wake up, log into work until G wakes up, then i log off ( i am a nurse case manager for adverse events from cosmetics and pharmaceuticals - think someone being allergic to penicillin-type stuff.)
I then get him fed, toileted, bathed, dressed, and ready for school which starts late mornings and drive him there - it is two counties over. then drive back to the office or my home office. I work and his dad picks him up when school lets out and watches him until I can drive back up there and pick him up. sometimes his dad will drive him to my house because I live about 2 miles or so from his girlfriend. It's about convenience, you know.

I am lucky if I make my full time hours. I haven't had a vacation in YEARS because I can't afford to take time off work. I use my PTO to make up hours if my ex goes out of town or if G or I have appts.

YEARS. can you imagine? NO TIME OFF. EVER. Maybe a day. No family support here in this town. My friends are my coworkers and thank god for the mom meet-up group. and these awesome church planter missionary whovians I met. Will I ever have a week off? probably not. Can't see it happening anytime soon. My ex didn't believe in taking time off. or, if he did, i didn't know about it, and he wasn't spending that time with G or I. He does take time off now to spend with his girlfriend who, ironically, is a night shift nurse. (which is what I was going to be in Canada, was in Cleveland, and was as a travel nurse, and in Georgia.)

anywhooooo

back to my nutty life. work does tuition reimbursement and so i am seizing the opportunity to take 2 grad level classes at a time. I can no longer do shift work as i have no one to watch my son if a shift goes over and i can't do day/night rotation. I suppose his dad can take him here and there but he's not too interested in that, and his dad travels. his dad wants to take a job that travels more and I have BEGGED him to wait until first grade where his class and therapy schedule would be more normal.
Grad school is like the second job i needed in that i will be able to do more with my degree once G is older. He will still need supervision, so like I said, shift work is no longer an option.

somedays i get so sad and overwhelmed. then people far and away do things like call, write, send mail, send packages, send help, and let me know I am not truly alone. Still - I wish I were in Ottawa, Chicago, or Washington DC where I have family/friends/support. It's hard and I don't want to overwhelm the few local people I have. 

I am lucky for my job - but I fear that my productivity is down because of my anxiety to get things perfect and I worry all the time. i am trying to find that perfect medium between speed and quality. 

I am very scared.  All i can do is keep truckin' on and eat healthy and stay active and try to make this house of cards withstand the winds that keep trying to blow it down.

next blog - G's imaginary friend Brad.

unbelievable abundance of joy

Lately some really neat things have happened. As you know, I had a very rough year.
However, some really cool things have been going on and I wanted to mention them, since I am so busy these days & I don't want to forget.
G tested very highly when it comes to kindergarten readiness. When the team at his school district were evaluating him this summer, they noted that he is actually almost ready for first grade for the most part. Except for social things/behavioral things. That is where his ABA comes in.
He started a school that is only for autism/developmental delay and he is improving so much that I find my self in awe.
When I started this blog, I had no idea if he'd ever tell me if he was hurt, hungry, etc. Now he tells me specifically things that he wants and needs. Like the Lego Movie "Lord Business" set or a glass of water.
His sentences are almost neurotypical. Everyday we practice conversations. His dad had him on Saturday so I could work the hours I missed on Labor Day. G wanted to call me. He actually talked to me (mostly answering yes/no questions) for a few minutes.
he even has an imaginary brother that he tells me about. He says "my brother is Brad. His dad is Harry and his mom is Sarah. his room is the light blue room."
His reading is also way amazing. He started reading one of my nursing articles for school, aloud. "the focus of this paper is to..."
He is also almost 100% potty trained. He hugs me and tells me he loves me.
I am so honored to be this kid's mama. He works so hard. It is paying off.
His progress is astounding. Wow. just wow.