ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Poor G.
His life has been a whirlwind of changes.
Mine has too, but not like what he's been through.
I feel bad about it, but I know we are doing the right thing, especially since we've already met with all of his new teachers, seen his new classrooms, and filled out mountains of paperwork for each of the following: medical, special ed program, and private preschool.
I had hoped we would save money on preschool since he's going to a special program for 1/2 days, but we are paying about the same. This is because the amount of time G will spend in private preschool is about the same as before. If P and I split the cost instead of me paying it altogether, we can both get back on our feet, as we have some time to get caught up.
It IS a bit humbling to move in to your in-laws house, I won't lie. However, this kind and generous act of theirs is just what we need. This year, I kept saying, would be THE year I grew up and got my act together. I was in therapy (which, though the co-pays were KILLING me) I desperately needed. So much crazy crap has happened to me, and even though I work full time (therapy lunch breaks!) when I come home, there is NO down time, really (which explains the sparseness of this blog!) I should be showering (stinky pits!) but I want to write some stuff down. This is as much as for you, the reader, as it is for me.

I want to HUG the SLP (speech language pathologist) that G had been seeing for a few weeks in GA. He has SOOOO much more functional language....rather, he's got it in his mind, but is now able to apply it in meaningful ways. He is asking for things now, by saying "I want, I want."
I have been trying to get the "please" in there, and "thank you" but manners and formality are something that we have to work extra hard on. He used to say 'thank you' sometimes before he started regressing last year. I have read that autistic children can come off as rude (and we have also experienced this is public). I have no problem telling puzzled strangers that G has autism when they say hello, and they don't get any eye contact or response back. They seem to go, OH, OK, and are not as offended.

People tell me all of the time that he seems pretty normal. In fact, I take that as a compliment. He loves to play and has a fantastic imagination. Water bottles are rocket ships, paper towel cardboard is a telescope, etc. Really, the biggest issues (and the ones that do define autism) are the lack of interacting with others, eye contact, communication, etc. It's not just autism, though. He does have accompanied symptoms such as shyness, anxiety, and even a bit of depression (evident when he just can't understand why he can't do things that other kids his age can do...like pedal a tricycle or ask for EXACTLY what they want.

He does still move furniture and climb rather than ask me for what he wants.  This means he can NEVER, and I mean NEVER be left unattended. He fell yesterday when I walked into the other room briefly to grab my phone. he found the stepladder and tried to get his favorite cereal out of the pantry. He was okay, but I think my blood pressure went through the roof.

My health has been horrible. I saw an NP at a neighborhood clinic at my mother-in-law's urging. Luckily I went...My oxygen sats were 5% lower than my normal at room air, my blood pressure was 50 points higher than my average systolic, and the diastolic was also approaching dangerously high. My lung sounds were horrific, I had a fever, and my heart was racing. I had small bruises all on my arms. The NP told me there was not much more she could do for me without sending me to a hospital. We talked, and she sent me home on some antibiotics, said FINISH YOUR STEROIDS! and told me to rest, rest, rest, or I will have to be hospitalized. I don't want to be a patient, I am a NURSE! I like to give the care, not receive it!!!!  Luckily, my mother-in-law was here and has been helping me out a lot. I was terrified I had given G an illness so I was glad I had made him a visit for his cough (post-nasal drip). The way I see it is, if I can still walk, I am okay.

We met his new pediatrician. He was great! He looked and listened and assured me that G is doing great, continue with zyrtec as needed, and he was good to start school. *phew* So mommy here is just a mess, but G is fine :)
Again....sign of relief!

So...things have been tight. We've been without P for over a week now. He stayed in Georgia to finish packing and cleaning and work full time. He is going to be about 20 pounds lighter when I see him.  G's teacher Ms Heather and her daughter have been helping him when they can. Thank goodness. It was so hard to live in the outskirts of ATL and not have anyone. G's preschool was pretty much the closest thing we had to family. I miss everyone!

I have already seen several of my siblings-in-law and their kids in the last month. That's been nice.

Potty training has been a bit on and off. G is again, in the class with the two and three-year-olds in his private preschool. This will be the case until he is potty trained and able to function socially with the three and four-year-olds. We had a trial day at the private school. His teachers are sweet...one actually lived in metro ATL for a few years, and came back for the same reason we did...it is TOO hard to be THAT far from family. The kids in his class, though younger, speak circles around G. I could not believe how different neurotypical toddlers are...I mean, I kind of knew, but I got to spend school time with them, and they are so different than G. Visually, G blends in with them. The class is multicultural which I like...a gorgeous variety of children which is well representative of the way the United States is today. The children are kind and well-mannered. They tried to include Graeme in all of the activities. I didn't tell them he was different. I told them he is very shy! (well, he is!)

Ohio is doing a lot legislatively to help families with autism. We will have a whole lot of paperwork come January, so we can apply for some of the programs G is eligible for. It will help as I am financially drained from this year and since I carry G on my insurance and cover all of his medical costs, I have to raise the white flag and continue to ask that people will donate to his fund.

The autism fundraiser is on until Christmas day. I ask that family and friends who read this and want to give G toys and stuff for Christmas to give to his fund instead. We don't care if we meet the goal, we just want to have the funds for all the various costs (including the autism center in Cincy eval coming up). So, again, in lieu of gifts, please donate to his fund. It has helped immensely and we could not have got this far without the support of our friends, family, and total strangers.
http://www.indiegogo.com/singingeverything?c=home

I was a caller on "The Sound of Ideas" on WCPN regarding Autism legislation and costs. Please click here and if you want to hear what I said, I come in around the last 11 minutes of the show. The whole program (about an hour) is well worth the listen.
http://www.ideastream.org/soi/entry/49899

I have to say, although I feel pretty ill (lungs mostly), I feel good. I feel like we have done the right thing by asking for help and not letting pride get in the way. I feel like G is going to have the best life we can give him because we gave up the prestige of our careers in GA (prestige doesn't always pay the best, anyway!) and we are not thinking selfishly about where we want to live, but where we NEED to be. Ohio it is. I moved to this state in 2003 for a scholarship to nursing school. It is hard not to let it get into your blood and it's even harder to get it out. Many of my east coast relatives and friends don't understand it. Yeah, I miss the subways of New York, and the food, and the infrastructure and the proximity to MY FAMILY, but G has so much more access to what he needs here, without being denied access simply because we don't have the funds or the class. Seriously.

By the way, an autism private school year tuition, not counting summer, and adjunct therapies can start at 25K a year. Just a thought. Thank goodness for public school teachers and therapists and all that they have done, and all that they continue to do.

Next blog: the terror of living next to water, and how my son doesn't understand how dangerous it is. When I tell you I am SERIOUS about volunteering and fundraising for a service dog starting in January, I am mean it. My experience yesterday with G and the lake almost gave me a heart attack. It took all my guts to hold in the tears and not lose it. Without you, reader, to talk to, I don't know what I would do...

Stay tuned.